Posted in Philosophy

Four Personal Promises

Posted on by simplebender

First of a four-part series based on “The Four Agreements – A Tolec Wisdom Book”, by Ruiz

There are four personal promises which might transform your life. Easily made and so hard to keep; like most promises. These promises are to yourself for yourself. No one will know if you’ve kept them or not; only you, and you are the only one who counts. Promise to:

  • Choose your words carefully;
  • Take nothing personally;
  • Never make assumptions;
  • Do your best, always.

Your first personal promise –Choose your words carefully:

The words you speak or write reflect you for all the world to hear and see. Say what you mean; not what you think others want to hear. Express the truth without deriding or belittling anyone, especially yourself.

Your words are your power. They can build as easily as they can destroy. They are your force in the world. Your power to communicate and express your beliefs and opinions. But remember, they are your beliefs and opinions, not others. They are formed from your experiences, your beliefs, your aspirations, and especially by your ego.

Your words can be enduring, so be careful. Those who hear and read your words are absorbing and growing. They are trying to grow and learn just as you are. Your words can be thoughtful, inspiring, and uplifting. They can also be shallow, self-serving, hateful, and spread fear. There is enough of the later and not enough of the former. If your words spread hate, maybe just maybe you should keep them to yourself.

They are swords which can cut deeply in both ways. On one side the edge of truth and dignity. On the other, hate and lies. As you wield your sword be keenly aware of which blade is cutting. You are responsible for choosing your words. If your words express hope, support, and are uplifting you show yourself honorable and a person of integrity. If your words spread gossip, or seek revenge, you are showing the world your pettiness and shallowness. You are responsible for when and where you brandish your sword. Reflect upon your words before you express them. Choose your words carefully as they become you to others. You will be revered or reviled both at the same time. If you’ve chosen well with impeccability, you won’t have any regrets. Choose to hold your tongue rather than force others to hold their ears.

Posted in Communication

Defend the Freedom to Read

Posted on by simplebender

Freedom to Read is an inalienable right. A right inherent and integral to the freedom of the press. Freedom to read allows all citizens access to the marketplace of ideas. The freedom of expression and the press falls mute when freedom to receive the material is repressed.

This right is under attack by those who want to control what is available for us to read. They endeavor to protect their comfort and their right to choose while sacrificing everyone else’s. Everyone’s liberty to choose, to seek knowledge and information, as well as the investigation of ideas should be respected. Those who believe contrary ideas should be banned are dangerous people. They are those who cannot deal with controversy and the whole truth. Information is power. Writings are torches in the darkness.

Those who choose to ban and censor books and print are destined for disappointment. You cannot ban and censor ideas forever. Ideas have a fire unto themselves which is uncontrollable and inextinguishable. They will emerge. They will grow. The victors write history, not the vanquished. The story of the conquered eventually is told and the victors held accountable when the whole truth is known. Those who choose to try to control, ban, and censor today should be prepared for the inevitable reversal of fate. This is a sad vicious cycle which should never have started. But it is a cycle which we can resist and one which must be stopped. It is contradictory to profess support of Freedom of the Press and simultaneously restrict and ban publications.

Stand up; defend and exercise your freedom to read, your freedom to write, your freedom to express individual thoughts and ideas. Encourage open publication and distribution without fear of the censor’s blade. Only when citizens explore the full range of human thought and emotion, weighing all perspectives in the balance, can we truly govern ourselves and claim our democratic birthright. Let’s openly, respectfully, grapple with challenging ideas and controversial subject matter. Push yourself to be uncomfortable, very uncomfortable. Then draw your own conclusions. Conclusions based on broad thoughts, not narrow ones. Information wants to be free. It cannot forever be restrained or repressed. Be brave, be willing to defend expression of ideas, regardless of how much you disagree with them. Resist those in power who want to try to extinguish this flame by censorship and banning. Support the authors who persist. Those who write the truth to, and in spite, of power. Those who present ideas and options to the masses, and let them think it all through. Read for pleasure, adventure, insight, and intrigue, but always fiercely defend the Freedom to Read.

If you find this article interesting or maybe challenging, please see some more of my musing at simplebender.medium.com. Please consider following me and never miss an article…Stay well

Posted in Political

Scapegoat Politics: Clear Sign of Shallow Policy

Posted on by simplebender

Scapegoat politics is a clear sign there is no positive, problem-solving agenda associated with the candidate or party. It is a simple means of distraction and diversion. Propagation of blame, fear, hate, and misinformation. Casting blame is an insidious, malicious, and effective way to avoid confronting today’s real systemic problems. Politicians, leaders, candidates, and people in general who practice it aren’t worthy of our support. They are either afraid to confront critical issues or don’t have any idea how to address them, without risking the rath of their cult like followers. Simply, they follow the practice of:  if you can’t solve it find someone to blame and be relentless in the accusations.

Scapegoating isn’t new. It’s been hyper-weaponized courtesy of the many mass media venues. Hitler had the Jews. He had no idea how to solve Germany’s hyperinflation and the crumbling living standards. But he had the Jews to blame for all of it. Syria’s Assad and Turkey’s Erdogan both have the Kurds, poor Kurds, to blame all their domestic calamities upon. They have suffered brutal consequences as a result.

Domestically, we are no different and our critical issues receive scant lip service. The Conservatives deride wokeness, China, and liberal ‘fake news’. Progressives blame ills on police unions, the 1%ers, and corporate greed. Florida’s Governor vilifies the LGBTQ’s and immigrants. The past executive energized hate toward the immigrants, even though he himself is one generation away. And today, he is scapegoating the DOJ while narcissistically playing the victim while fleecing his flock. Whining about unsupported claims of the past to shield to deflect against his own actions, indictments, and convictions.

You cannot solve problems by blaming others. It demonstrates a leadership devoid of forward thought, problem-solving, and critical thinking. We need to identify and address the real problems. We should seriously confront and address systematic, institutionalized, racism. Where’s the action toward eliminating mass shooting and gun violence? All the ‘thoughts and prayers’, shallowly offered, are falling on deaf and dead ears. Addiction and death related to illicit fentanyl and prescription opioids is killing us. Where is the hard look at why so many of our neighbors are addicted and abusing drugs? Rather than focus on the problem, it is easier to blame and demonize southern immigrants. Forget the fact most of them are escaping violence and terror and only a scant few are smugglers.

The scapegoat du jour is the LGBTQ community. Attacking a group because they aren’t like you and you don’t understand them. Blaming and viciously attacking them on embellished accusations of child grooming and abuse. If legislators really want to address this issue, they could start by focusing on the authoritarian leadership of the Catholic and Southern Baptists. These have a long well documented history of child molestation and abuse. This would require extreme courage and risk of losing political power. So, don’t expect anything but more Gay Bashing and book banning. It’s so much easier and politically safe.

Political failure and shallow policy making can be measured by increasing authoritarianism, and scapegoating. Used to mobilize the uninformed and easily manipulated. Stop blaming and start addressing critical issues. Take responsibility, be accountable, and confront serious issues sans scapegoating. Those political figures who won’t stop blaming others and using them as diversions don’t deserve our support; none of them.

Posted in Philosophy

Leadership Lessons From Parenting

Posted on by simplebender

There are so many lessons you can learn from Parenting. So many can and should be applied to Leadership.

Lesson: Be present, be calm, be patient, and listen to them;

Employees need you to be there for them. They need you to be present. They need you to be calm and patient and they desperately need you to listen to them. New and senior employees look toward you for support and guidance. They need you to be calm in the face of any calamity. To show limitless patience and support. Also, they have ideas and perspectives which need to be heard and considered. Don’t miss an opportunity to learn just because you are the boss.
Lesson: Let them stumble, fall, and fail; help them up and coach, don’t fix;

As painful as it might be, a good leader will let their staff stumble, fall and fail. The key will be to prove to them you will be there to help pick them up and coach them, guide them. Don’t yield to the extreme temptation of simply fix the problem. Show them they have the insight and capability of resolving the issue, even after a fall.
Lesson: Grow with them before you find yourself treating them as inferior;

Employees grow with every task and especially those they stumbled through. A leader must recognize this growth and maturity. Acknowledge this increasing capability with ever more challenging assignments. Holding them to the same level of tasks shows them you haven’t grown in an appreciation of their capabilities. They will continue to grow in spite of you. Or, they will meet your level of expectation and you both will fail; and it is your fault.

Lesson: No matter what, no matter when, no matter where—just support;

Commit yourself to publicly supporting them, no matter what, when, or where. They rely on your public support and your private constructive criticism. Show your public support, they will follow your lead and support you. Criticize publicly and expect the same in return, or worse behind your back.

Lesson: Don’t play favorites;

Every employee is unique and special. Each has amazing talents as well as faults. Don’t play favorites. Find within each how they best can aid the organization and praise the hell out of what they do. Help each with their unique weakness while they exercise their strengths. Everyone has a key role. Yours is to not play favorites as this will undoubtably be divisive and failure is eminent.
Lesson: There is a forest amidst the trees, sometimes you don’t need to sweat the small stuff;

It is so easy for an employee to focus on the minutia. Help them understand there is a bigger picture. The small parts, while important, must be addressed with the larger objective in view. They are solving a critical part of the whole, but they must know what the whole really is. It’s not their fault if their creative solution is counter to the global objective. There are many solutions to all problems. Let them in on the secret and let them devise solutions to support it.
Lesson: Leadership just as Parenting is something you GET to do every day, not HAVE to do

It’s a privilege to be a leader. If you don’t think so, you shouldn’t be one. You GET to help guide and grow people to be better than they were. You GET to learn from a wide diverse group and then impart knowledge to others. Leadership is an opportunity to grow their future which you GET to champion. None of these you HAVE to do; but, if you feel they are mandatory obligations you shouldn’t be a leader.


Remember, YOU are their example; no pressure……

Posted in Philosophy

Critical Thinking: Let’s Rethink This

Posted on by simplebender

There’s been quite the ferment about Critical Thinking in the last several years. Unfortunately, it is being misrepresented and becoming a lost skill. Critical Thinking is Deep Thinking. It doesn’t come easy, especially in this world of instant gratification and distractions. It is quite often emotionally painful. Critical Thinking forces you to challenge some (all) core beliefs. You may find them to be deceptions or myths. It can push you past the survival thinking mindset we tend to find ourselves entrapped. It will certainly break through the status quo mindset which plagues us.

Embrace curiosity and become a lifelong learner. Don’t be satisfied with what you hear or see on the internet or TV. Force yourself to ask a simple question: ‘Does that really make sense?’. Start thinking, questioning, probing, and researching. Find out for yourself.

Become an active listener rather than an active talker. Listen to other viewpoints. Resist formulating your defense while those viewpoints are being presented. Have patience. Absorb their meaning and implications. Then, reflect on how your experiences support or reject them. When you express yourself, be reflective on what you’ve heard and be respectful.

Take your time in decision making and systematically solve problems. Dissect complex problems to solve them. Try to see the forest and the trees at the same time. The more difficult and complex the problem the more you need a diverse group to solve it. Reach out to others not in your comfort circle for their opinion, theirs might just be the key to resolution. And then, learn to pause before acting. Reflection beforehand can be invaluable.

Deep critical thinking requires a lot of self-reflection. It requires a willingness to accept your ideas, concepts, and beliefs might be wrong. As such, practice a little self-compassion too. Don’t be self-critical but be self-aware and willing to change, if change is needed. The first step is being willing to ask.

Critical thinking has been demonized because it has made a lot of people uncomfortable. The questions have probed long-held beliefs and institutional practices. That’s what you do when you practice Critical Deep Thinking. Relax and enjoy the mental and emotional challenges ahead. Your life will be better for the effort.

[I’m slowly migrating to Medium. You can find me at medium@simplebender.com. Please following me there and please tell your friends….I appreciate your reading and occational comments…….Stay well, be safe]

Posted in Political

Two Who Took Secrets: Tale of Two Indictments

Posted on by simplebender

It’s not whether there is a best or worst of times when it comes to indictments, especially recent espionage cases. But now we have two indictments for the same crimes against the state in a matter of a few months. Don’t make this about who they are, make it about what they’ve done and whom they’ve harmed.

In one we have a socially immature government employee who had access to, and allegedly took, confidential national documents. He took them because he wanted to bolster his ego and status within his circle of supporters. He needs to feel important. He shows off his trophies and brags about how important they are and by implication how important he is.

In the second case, ironically, we have almost an identical situation. A former government employee with larger delusional ego issues. He too took secret material for his personal use, to show off his trophies and brag. He too needs to feel important.

In the first, the perpetrator was apprehended by armed FBI agents and SWAT. He was immediately incarcerated, without bail, even before being indicted. The conservative right wing was appalled at how long it took the DOJ to apprehend the accused and of course there shouldn’t be any bail. He was clearly a threat to the country by showing off his trophies.

By contrast, in a clear demonstration of DOJ bias, the search warrant for the second was actioned while the suspect was out of town to avoid any embarrassing situation. It took well on six to eight months for the second to be indicted all the while being free and available to the press. In even another example of DOJ bias, this suspect wasn’t incarcerated even after indictment. The first indicted on six charges, the second on only thirty-seven. One is free, the other is not, guess which.

The conservative right wing screaming about a two-tier system, and they are correct. If the second had been named Smith, what are the odds of such preferential treatment. Both cases will be heard by a jury, that’s how our system of justice works. It will be interesting to see if there is any subtle jury tampering or judicial prejudice by and for the second. He is the only one who is free, speaking volumes, with the means to accomplish acquittal by influence. And yes, if you take national secrets, you should be prosecuted; no matter who you are. These are demure men striving for attention. Keep it about what they’ve done, not who they are or want to be. Through it all, sadly, the country loses.

Posted in Political

In our changing society, some who feel like victims are not victims

Posted on by simplebender

Things you never had are the subject of your dreams. Things you choose to let go of are soon forgotten. But those things taken from you; those are the things you miss the most.

Imagine for a moment how intense the loss must be when you believe everything you and your forefathers had worked for was taken from you. Taken away by the vote and choice of the electorate; your neighbors. Slowly, piece by piece, your rights and opportunities taken and distributed to others. Your world slowly dismantled. You would be frustrated. You would be angry. But know, anger is an exhibit of weakness and lack of self-control not strength and composure.

For these disgruntled neighbors the perceived loss is more complicated and to them very real. Complicated because now ‘their’ rights and privileges are diluted. Those rights are enjoyed by others. Others who never had them before but should have. It is now a conflict. Those who have lost try in vain to recollect and those who now have refusing to return what they now enjoy. It’s women refusing to yield control over their own bodies and health. It’s minorities refusing to yield voting rights, employment, and education opportunities. It’s those who celebrate a different sexual orientation refusing to be demonized, scapegoated, and losing medical rights and acceptance. And why should any of them not defend the rights and privileges they have.

For a moment, consider those who have ‘lost’ are not radical or racially motivated. They are those who feel they are truly victims. Victims of a changing society in which they no longer reign supreme. Their racial, religious, and gender privileges all in the past. A group who passionately wants the country to return to a time when their existence and influence hadn’t been marginalized and brought into balance with others. An America where racial and religious minorities and women could be teased, harassed, and scapegoated with impunity. The sooner these new ‘victims’ recognize they aren’t victims and what they ‘lost’ cannot be reclaimed the sooner they can accept the current state of society. They can recognize and maybe accept they remain valuable assets, just like everyone else. No better and no worse, every step closer to equal. The sooner they do, all of us will start healing.

I understand the difference between the two; I’ve been visually impaired most of my life and don’t know the difference. I’ve been hearing impaired for the last twenty years and I know what I’ve lost. Listening to a flock of singing birds, with my hearing aids, I recognize how much I’ve missed the subtle sounds of nature. Hearing what I can, only because of augmentation, reminds me of all the sounds taken away from me. I mourn my loss but absorbed what I can as best I can. I appreciate the moments I have rather than wallowing in pity over what I’ve lost.

Societies and cultures move forward, they change and evolve. The path isn’t always smooth, and change can be hard. Especially hard to accept if you feel what you’ve lost was taken from you. But you can’t take it away from others just because you want it back. 

Posted in Political

‘The Ultimate Cancel Act’ (Florida SB 1248): Beware of Unintended Consequences

Posted on by simplebender

Florida SB 1248 was filed and now referred to five committees. The current bill calls for the termination of any political party which ‘previously advocated for, or been in support of, slavery or involuntary servitude.’

What happens, presuming it passes and in the next session the Christian National Party (CNP) combines with the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC). The SBC was founded in 1845 to support the cause of slavery and gave it ‘biblical’ credibility. It took 173 years before the SBC softened its position. In keeping with SB 1248 the CNP and the SBC could be on a termination list.

What happens if the statue is amended to include non-political organizations. Would the Sons and Daughters of the Confederacy be at risk of termination? What about the monuments, statutes, and memorials which they sponsored, or which glorify the Confederacy? Wouldn’t they too be at risk?

What if in the preparation of statue regulations, or amendments, companies which benefited from Jim Crow Laws were included? The list of those whose founders supported or benefited from slavery or involuntary servitude could be extensive.

And as to involuntary servitude; what if the recent interpretation, by several Federal Judges, that forced continued pregnancy is in fact ‘involuntary servitude’ is upheld? Wouldn’t every anti-abortion organization and even churches be on the ever expanding list of organizations required to be terminated?

Good legislation is hard to craft and administer. Even the best risk their original intent being misinterpreted, modified, altered, or amended. But partisan legislation, passed in the heat of the moment or whimsically is ripe for abuse. Good legislation has a dual role. First, to support a positive change in society while simultaneously protecting the rights of all affected. All legislation has some degree of unintended consequences. This piece of partisan legislation is ripe for abuse, now and in the future. Let’s be careful what we ask for in all legislation and be ready for the inevitable unintended consequences.

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Posted in Philosophy

Striking a Balance With Equality and Equity

Posted on by simplebender

Thomas Jefferson metaphorically penned, ‘all men are created equal’ knowing this wasn’t the case. Not only are we not created equal, but we will also live and die that way. Let me ask; as a civil society, should we strive for equality, or equity, or their combination?

We are inundated with initiatives trying to make things equal and to ‘level the playing field’. Enacted Federal and State laws mandate equality. To a great regard those efforts have enabled many to achieve great things. Achievements only a few decades ago they wouldn’t have had the opportunity to even try; let alone succeed. And yet, today we are seeing an extreme backlash of those initiatives. Rejection by those who believe their inherent privileges have been stolen and given to others. Evidently, efforts for equality have resulted in a sense of winners on the backs of losers. Even though their misplaced perception of loss is far far greater than reality.

Could we possibly reframe the discussion away from equality and focus on equity? Should everything be equal? Must the ‘playing field’ be level? Or could we try to find ‘both/and’ solutions rather than ‘either/or’ ones. Solutions where everyone can win and achieve. We could be looking for objective oriented opportunities. Those which encourage everyone to achieve the desired goal.

Not everyone needs the same level of assistance to achieve the same goal. Some don’t need any and some need a lot. Making everything equal may not be the right approach. Overcompensating some while others may still be lacking and fail.

Equity is not equality. Presuming equal opportunity, consider three youngsters wanting to watch a ball game but are on the wrong side of a fence. Their height differs; one tall, one medium and the other, well just short. There is sufficient material to make six, one-foot-tall, boxes for them to stand upon. Equality would be each of them getting two boxes to stand on to watch the game. In this case the tall one, who could almost already see over the fence is over compensated. The middle one can now watch the game. However, the short one is still too short to watch. Everything is equal but the goal wasn’t achieved. Equity would rearrange the boxes to give the tall one, a single box; the middle one two, and the short one would get three boxes. This is clearly not equal. Yet now, each of the children can easily stand and watch the game. Even though the distribution of assets wasn’t equal, the goal is achieved, and everyone is happy with the outcome. Everyone won.

No one ever promised the world would be fair. No one should expect everything to be equal. It just doesn’t work that way. Inequalities surround us. However, all people, must be treated equally, have equal rights, and equal opportunity. Not because it’s the law but because it’s the right thing. Some people are born to privilege, others to poverty. Some are physically or mentally blessed, and others struggle with either or both. Our public policies could consider balancing equality with equity. Can we promote equal opportunity and equity in resource allocation?

Let’s focus on achievement rather than equality. Focus on finding ‘both/and’ solutions rather than defaulting to ‘either/or’. We celebrate Black History Month and recognize the amazing contributions of so many from such meager beginnings. While we learn to treat everyone equally, let’s stop trying to make all things equal and stop sanitizing history. There are some things which need equality and some which would benefit by equity. Those who need more should receive more. Those who need less should be willing to get less. Equality is not equity, and we need both.

Posted in Philosophy

Optics and Perspectives

Posted on by simplebender

Can anyone imagine the perspective of someone outside looking at recent critical elections. Imagine optics from their perspective. Is there a difference between armed DOJ officers and State Troops ‘protecting’ ballot boxes and polling centers and armed Russian troops at polling centers in ‘liberated’ Ukraine territories? Is there a difference between ‘little green men’ watching over Crimean voting and ‘masked vigilantes’ watching over those in the U.S.

Surely there’s a difference; surely. Of course, there’s a difference; of course there is. There is isn’t there? No seriously, there is right? Right? Maybe only from our perspective.

Optics and perspectives are everything. Now, let the world press start the spin cycle. Don’t be shocked at how we are not perceived. But of course, there’s a difference; really there is, right?