Posted in Political

Beyond Tokenism, Tribalism, and Wokeism

Posted on by simplebender

The issues and consternation we face with Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Accessibility aren’t new. Humanity is predisposed to tribalism and discrimination. We like to be around those who are like us….whether race, gender, creed, hobby, or sports team. This country has had an issue with DEIA from its start. The idea that someone gets something to fill a quota rather than being the most qualified just isn’t American.

We stand on a merit-based system. As a country, we have struggled with DEIA laws thrust upon us since post-Civil War reconstruction and especially since the Civil Rights Act of 1964. We reject the concept of merit and privilege being replaced with legislation trying to eliminate discrimination because the result is systematic alienization and reverse discrimination.

Diversity is not just a preference; it’s a necessity in business, sports, education, social interaction, and life. The ideas, experiences, prowess, and insights of other nationalities, races, genders, and creeds enrich our lives and country. It’s a vibrant aspect of our nation—a nation of immigrants.

Equity is not equality. It’s about ensuring everyone is on an equal footing. The privileged should not be treated any better or worse than the impoverished, and the rich should not have any more access to political officials than the hoi polloi. The challenge is: How can you ensure equity when the playing field has never been level? None of us start with the same privileges or handicaps. Treating everyone equally only perpetuates and extends inequities. And if you believe the education system and/or medical care in this country is equal for all, you’ll struggle to understand any of this.

We stand on a merit-based system. We reject the idea of nepotism and ‘pay to play’ influence. Right? Yet, we all know the person who got the job because their parent knew someone, had money, or owned the company. We stand on merit, right? I understand the frustration with DEI. I was once told I would hire a specific person for an open, publicly posted position. The job description was unambiguous. Looking at the resume, the new hire didn’t appear to be a good match, but that didn’t matter. Quickly checking my DEI card, I recognized there was, in fact, justification for the hire, regardless of qualification. The new employee was part of an exclusive minority. With a little extra time, patience, and training, the company finally had a good employee. The child of a sitting U.S. Senator allowed us to check a box and have an amazingly unique perspective at break time. Merit didn’t matter then; to some, it doesn’t matter now. Of course, the good-ole-boy, nepotistic system was always so much better in so many ways, right?

Remember that DEI never intended to mean ‘Don’t Ever Integrate.’ It was meant to be a way to give opportunities to all people, not just those with connections. Is the current direction and directives about merit or returning to our country’s quasi-legal racial segregation state? As cop killers and killing cops are pardoned, the answer may already be self-evident. Courage and Be Bold   

#NeverFearTheDream   simplebender.com @simplebender.bsky.social

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This was first printed in the Bend Bulletin 1/30/25 titled: Measuring merit and diversity

Posted in NeverFeartheDream

Never Fear The Dream…

Posted on by simplebender

In youth, we had role models of convenience—our mothers, fathers, and teachers who were our guides. We trusted them blindly, not knowing if they or their influence was positive or negative. As we mature, we aren’t bound to follow their path; sometimes, we must rebel against it. But you can’t make the crooked straight without a ruler. Measure yourself against a true standard—one that draws from diverse teachings, each offering a unique perspective to help straighten your path. Because you are now the role model, and you want to be good, right? 25.05

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Posted in NeverFeartheDream

Never Fear The Dream…

Posted on by simplebender

Don’t quickly agree with those who have much to say about many things—they typically don’t know much about anything except themselves. Avoid leaders who exploit your fears and hardships, offering nothing but empty promises and false hope while pursuing their gain. Find peace in who you are, not in what you lack. Remember, self-absorbed leaders cannot bring you tranquility; you can only do that. 25.04

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Posted in NeverFeartheDream, Political

Never Fear The Dream….

Posted on by simplebender

Leaders must have character, not merely be characters. The seducer and seduced share a symbiotic relationship—each supporting and needing the other. We all play both roles when our turn comes. But authentic leadership leaves no room for doubt: lead for the betterment of all, for the greater good, not just for those you’ve won over, seduced, bought, and/or suckered. 25.031

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Posted in NeverFeartheDream

Never Fear The Dream…

Posted on by simplebender

The hardest part of any task is simply starting. Take a deep, calming breath and begin. Don’t worry too much about your course—just know your “why”; your “how” will follow.  Don’t hesitate to pause, assess, and adjust your direction if necessary. It’s better to make corrections than to fail. It’s also easier to alter your course at the beginning than near completion. Have patience and faith in yourself—your creativity and focus will rule the day. 25.03

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Posted in NeverFeartheDream

Never Fear The Dream…

Posted on by simplebender

You give a little part of yourself to everyone you meet and everything you do. What you offer is your choice—what others take is theirs. You never know if what they see matches what you think you’re projecting. Odds are it will be quite different as their experiences shape their perception. But your actions are on display for everyone to witness. They will know when you haven’t given your best. They will see through you. They will know, and you will know they know. This will reveal more about you than any other facade you try to portray. This will be the little part you leave with them. 25.02

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Posted in NeverFeartheDream

Never Fear the Dream……

Posted on by simplebender

25.01

People are like moments in time; each one is special and unique. We should be celebrating our uniqueness rather than negatively highlighting our differences. These days of stress, conflict, divisiveness, and the addiction to immediate gratification have pushed us away from simple acceptance and toward skepticism, finding fault, and casting blame. Maybe we should reflect upon the idea that if we are judging others, they, too, are judging us. And then, just for another moment, ask why we are judging anyone at all. Like moments in time, none of us will ever be created again. There will never be anyone like any of us ever again. Start fresh each year, each day, each morning, each moment to build your future. A future built with those around you, whether you like them or not. They must do the same, even if they don’t like you.

Happy New Year

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Posted in Communication

This Christmas, Safe refuge at the kid’s table

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This Christmas, I took a break from the drama and posturing at the adult table and found refuge at the kid’s table.

Yearning for the casual banter of innocence, the insight of young wisdom, and the opportunity to hear the thoughts and words of our future, I decided to sit at the kid’s table. Sitting in smaller chairs, closer to the ground, we may be better grounded than in taller, oversized adult chairs, which these days seem a little too tipsy.

The easy game of Connect the Dots yields winks and laughs as we dabble and play with our food. We chatted and giggled about the presents we had opened and those gifts we still hoped to get. I chuckle at the confused looks as we taste the cranberry sauce and smile as the dressing and mashed potatoes are swirled into a tasty mush.

Overhearing the adults discuss their ‘big people’s topics as I watch the kids. The toast for ‘world peace’ quickly regressed to biting analogies of the Middle East and Ukraine. The younger ones seem more confused as the voices rise. The ‘older ones’ frown and turn away from the tension, showing some disgust at the hypocrisy and arguments. Turning up my hearing aids just a little, I hear one mumble…’ giving aid to one for genocide and taking it away from another fighting for self-defense.’ As their heads shook a little, the simple game of hangman took on new meaning. The table returned to the whispers and giggles of youth as a game or two of tic-tac-toe started. I pondered their insight and perspective and lost the hangman game.

The lighthearted snickers and under-the-table poking were interrupted as another bottle of wine was opened for the adults. A hearty toast at their table as we lifted our glasses of water and mimicked them with our silly smiles and googly eyes. The topics at the big people’s table ebbed and flowed about current events, sports, business, and then back to politics. I shook my head and wished they could listen to us at the kid’s table. We were having fun, laughing, and smiling. Their table got louder as abortion and women’s rights became the main topic. Then the epiphany. One of the girls whispers to another…’ great, the convicted sex predator wants to protect us whether we like it or not…cringe…’ I turned my hearing aids back down, hoping to give them the space they needed and not become the adult at the table.

I thought about what I’d heard at both tables. I wanted to avoid the stress and conflict at the adult table, but I only saw and heard the stress that wafted across the room to the kid’s table. Their young minds are open to so much. Soaking in everything and forming opinions that will drive our world’s future. Too much stress. Too much tension. The heat spilling out of the kitchen to the tables filled with the cornucopia of abundance. We sat there wondering about those with so much less and how fortunate we were. This privileged family has the luxury of having discussions and not worrying about where their next meal is coming from. And yet, these adults don’t realize they may be forming irreversible opinions and generational hate through their terse and tense words.

We, the adults, can impart hope or hate. We can show how to listen and try to understand. It is our choice, and they, the kids, are watching and listening to everything.

My distracted thoughts were interrupted when the youngest leaned over, tapped me, and said, ‘Knock, knock.’ I smiled and thought, ‘Maybe, just maybe, things will be alright’…’ Who’s there?’

NeverFearTheDream     simplebender.com

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This article was first published in the Bend Bulletin 12/26/24

Posted in Communication

Better Not to Hear than Not be Heard

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In our zeal to appear to listen to everyone, we are not hearing anyone. This unfortunate reality has turned the tables in politics, neighborhoods, and even families. We almost seem to be ‘play listening, ‘ nodding our heads in agreement all the while formulating our response without really hearing. We are treating people like we scroll headlines—no real interest, just browsing.

We all want to be heard. We all want our expressed thoughts and opinions to, at least, be heard. The failure to be heard has brought us to where we are and will take us where we will go. The facade of hearing and the misdirection of understanding have been the tools of the deceivers forever.

The examples of perceived lack of hearing pepper our history. Women felt oppressed, disenfranchised, and weren’t being heard, which led to suffrage. African Americans cried out about racial injustice and oppression, leading to civil rights reforms. LGBTQs faced the same lack of understanding and have pressed for social change. And now, rural Americans of all races and genders are screaming to be heard about the loss of rights and freedoms. It isn’t that they weren’t speaking, but they weren’t being heard. The voices were muffled and muted and, in some cases, literally covered and gagged to prevent their speech. If we don’t pay attention, we will cycle through these and other issues infinitely more times.

Without being heard in civil discord, those affected lash out, resorting to yelling and physical actions to get attention. Their plight is real to them. We will only perpetuate a cycle of misunderstanding, disregard, mistrust, and violent upheaval until we are ready to hear and absorb what they say and mean.

This cycle will continue until a champion comes forward who, at least, appears to hear their plight. It doesn’t matter if they really care or not. They are someone who has stature and who takes up the cause. They become bigger than life, regardless of their own life story. They become the voice of the unheard. Their past transgressions are irrelevant to the yelling mob. They are giving the mob a voice, a charismatic champion, someone willing to take up the cause and press forward. Like the snake oil salesman, acknowledging your ailment and offering you a dubious elixir to cure your pains. Unfortunately, the hangover from the cure might be worse.

Being hearing impaired, I understand the frustration of not hearing. I understand the isolation in a crowded room. I’ve watched people become frustrated with repeating what they have said because I have difficulty hearing them. However, their frustration is even more profound when their message falls not on deaf ears but on ears unwilling to hear or listen. It is far better not to hear than not to be heard. Stop formulating a response and hear what others are saying. Hear what others are asking and pleading for. Their needs are real to them, just as yours are to you. People are much more than the scrolling headlines at the bottom of the TV. People matter. Don’t just stop and listen, but stop and really hear and try to understand, even if you disagree.

NeverFearTheDream……..simplebender.com

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Posted in Political

The Intoxicating Mirage of American Greatness

Posted on by simplebender

We are no better than Don Quixote as he chased the demons he saw in windmills as we become drunk on the hysteria and mirage of American greatness. While he blamed magicians for his confusion and failure, we blame minorities and immigrants. We are no different; only our delusion is different.

Neither the Constitution nor the Preamble ever professes any illusion of aspiring to greatness. The Founding Fathers’ writings in the Federalist Papers are silent on any desire for national greatness. These men, willing to risk everything openly professed a desire for an independent nation. A nation recognized and respected as an equal by all the world’s other nations. They weren’t so egotistical to wave the vain flag of greatness or superiority.

Yet today, we insanely strive to regain something we never had, were, or will be. We are drunk on our delusions and egos. Being ‘great’ is a fixation of one’s ego. It isn’t real. It is your fantasized view of yourself. Something which, when unachieved or perceived to be lost, we blame everyone, anyone, but ourselves. Like Don Quixote blaming mystics and magicians, we lash out at everyone but ourselves. Ironically, we blame them for something that never was and can never be.

We are a country with many admirable traits and traditions and rich in resources and intellect. We are like almost every other country in the world. We all have our national pride, but our national ego is more of a liability than an asset. When working internationally, the first and biggest hurdle to overcome is not being the ‘arrogant, ugly American’ as we are known worldwide.

How do you determine ‘greatness?’ Is our historic and persistent racism a measure of greatness? As a country of immigrants, whose foundational economy was built on the backs of slaves, should our measure of greatness be the number of immigrant families we disjoined and caged or how we showed compassion? Is our historic and persistent racism a criterion of greatness? Is the denigration of minorities and the perpetuation of our domestic caste system our yardstick? Is the benchmark the number of citizens in the wealthiest Causation country suffering in poverty? Is it the number of books and ideas we can ban or sequester? Is the measure the need for a nanny state because we don’t trust half of the population to make their own decisions on healthcare? Or maybe it is our growing affinity to authoritarians and dictators rather than democracies? Democracy isn’t dead but authoritarianism a growing plague. Democracy conquered communism and now seems focused on conquering itself. A country boasting about greatness should have addressed and resolved these inequities decades ago. However, what we have shown incredible greatness in is our ability to deflect, ignore, and our propensity to find a scapegoat for our failures.

While we are a blessed nation, no country is great at everything. They all have strengths, weaknesses, and blind spots. The pragmatic salient question might be, ‘Should America strive to be average or average at all things?’ If we are average, we acknowledge there are those better than us in some things, and we are better in others. By being average at all things, we surrender those areas in which we can be superior.

Our desire and aspiration to be Great should not cloud the realization that we are just one among many in this world. Our founders knew this, and they promoted internationalism, not isolation, to gain acceptance and influence. They didn’t strive for dominance but for mutually beneficial relationships. In our drunken, intoxicated state of euphoria, touting our Greatness, let’s hope we ultimately don’t drive ourselves to Mediocrity.

Maybe our Greatness is our ability to cast an eye over our shoulder to see how far we’ve come, accept where we are, and then turn to look forward and have a vision of where we should be. Sober love of country over drunken delusions. NeverFearTheDream……simplebender.com

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This was first published in the Bend Bulletin 11/20/24