Month: August 2023

Posted in Philosophy

Four Personal Promises: Second…. Take Nothing Personally

Posted on by simplebender

Second of a four-part series based on “The Four Agreements – A Toltec Wisdom Book”, by Ruiz

There are four personal promises which might transform your life. This is the second of these promises. Promise to:

  • Choose your words carefully;
  • Take nothing personally;
  • Never make assumptions;
  • Do your best, always.

Your second personal promise –Take nothing personally:

This world doesn’t revolve around you. It just doesn’t. Your delusional perspective of your personal importance is an expression of your selfishness. What others do and say is a reflection of their reality, which you should respect, but don’t assume it has anything to do with you.

By taking things personally you set yourself up for failure, suffering, abuse, easily become prey, and suffer for nothing. You unnecessarily absorb the pain of others reality. By taking things personally you feel offended and therefore must defend yourself and your beliefs. But do you really have to? If you keep your promise you will acknowledge those words reflect the speaker not you. They probably didn’t keep their first promise which means you must keep your second.

Your point of view is yours just as theirs is theirs. Their words don’t have to be your truth and certainly not worth getting mad or angry about. Getting mad, angry, and defensive discloses your fears and insecurities. Their words have affected you because you choose to let them, not because you are the target. You choose to be a victim. Rather, listen and try to assess what is behind their words. What is making them angry and upset. Don’t add to it by trying to defend yourself.

Watch people and determine if their words follow their action; or are they just lying to you. Don’t expect people to always tell the whole truth, sometimes it’s just too painful, doesn’t fit their agenda, or they are just afraid. If they are lying, there is clearly no reason for you to take what they say personally.

The caveat to this promise is: if your actions or words have caused them pain, suffering, or damage you need to accept responsibility. You need to acknowledge you’ve hurt them, personally, and in fact you must take their words personally and make restitutions.

UP NEXT: NEVER MAKE ASSUMPTIONS      

Posted in Philosophy

Four Personal Promises

Posted on by simplebender

First of a four-part series based on “The Four Agreements – A Tolec Wisdom Book”, by Ruiz

There are four personal promises which might transform your life. Easily made and so hard to keep; like most promises. These promises are to yourself for yourself. No one will know if you’ve kept them or not; only you, and you are the only one who counts. Promise to:

  • Choose your words carefully;
  • Take nothing personally;
  • Never make assumptions;
  • Do your best, always.

Your first personal promise –Choose your words carefully:

The words you speak or write reflect you for all the world to hear and see. Say what you mean; not what you think others want to hear. Express the truth without deriding or belittling anyone, especially yourself.

Your words are your power. They can build as easily as they can destroy. They are your force in the world. Your power to communicate and express your beliefs and opinions. But remember, they are your beliefs and opinions, not others. They are formed from your experiences, your beliefs, your aspirations, and especially by your ego.

Your words can be enduring, so be careful. Those who hear and read your words are absorbing and growing. They are trying to grow and learn just as you are. Your words can be thoughtful, inspiring, and uplifting. They can also be shallow, self-serving, hateful, and spread fear. There is enough of the later and not enough of the former. If your words spread hate, maybe just maybe you should keep them to yourself.

They are swords which can cut deeply in both ways. On one side the edge of truth and dignity. On the other, hate and lies. As you wield your sword be keenly aware of which blade is cutting. You are responsible for choosing your words. If your words express hope, support, and are uplifting you show yourself honorable and a person of integrity. If your words spread gossip, or seek revenge, you are showing the world your pettiness and shallowness. You are responsible for when and where you brandish your sword. Reflect upon your words before you express them. Choose your words carefully as they become you to others. You will be revered or reviled both at the same time. If you’ve chosen well with impeccability, you won’t have any regrets. Choose to hold your tongue rather than force others to hold their ears.

Posted in Communication

Defend the Freedom to Read

Posted on by simplebender

Freedom to Read is an inalienable right. A right inherent and integral to the freedom of the press. Freedom to read allows all citizens access to the marketplace of ideas. The freedom of expression and the press falls mute when freedom to receive the material is repressed.

This right is under attack by those who want to control what is available for us to read. They endeavor to protect their comfort and their right to choose while sacrificing everyone else’s. Everyone’s liberty to choose, to seek knowledge and information, as well as the investigation of ideas should be respected. Those who believe contrary ideas should be banned are dangerous people. They are those who cannot deal with controversy and the whole truth. Information is power. Writings are torches in the darkness.

Those who choose to ban and censor books and print are destined for disappointment. You cannot ban and censor ideas forever. Ideas have a fire unto themselves which is uncontrollable and inextinguishable. They will emerge. They will grow. The victors write history, not the vanquished. The story of the conquered eventually is told and the victors held accountable when the whole truth is known. Those who choose to try to control, ban, and censor today should be prepared for the inevitable reversal of fate. This is a sad vicious cycle which should never have started. But it is a cycle which we can resist and one which must be stopped. It is contradictory to profess support of Freedom of the Press and simultaneously restrict and ban publications.

Stand up; defend and exercise your freedom to read, your freedom to write, your freedom to express individual thoughts and ideas. Encourage open publication and distribution without fear of the censor’s blade. Only when citizens explore the full range of human thought and emotion, weighing all perspectives in the balance, can we truly govern ourselves and claim our democratic birthright. Let’s openly, respectfully, grapple with challenging ideas and controversial subject matter. Push yourself to be uncomfortable, very uncomfortable. Then draw your own conclusions. Conclusions based on broad thoughts, not narrow ones. Information wants to be free. It cannot forever be restrained or repressed. Be brave, be willing to defend expression of ideas, regardless of how much you disagree with them. Resist those in power who want to try to extinguish this flame by censorship and banning. Support the authors who persist. Those who write the truth to, and in spite, of power. Those who present ideas and options to the masses, and let them think it all through. Read for pleasure, adventure, insight, and intrigue, but always fiercely defend the Freedom to Read.

If you find this article interesting or maybe challenging, please see some more of my musing at simplebender.medium.com. Please consider following me and never miss an article…Stay well

Posted in Political

Scapegoat Politics: Clear Sign of Shallow Policy

Posted on by simplebender

Scapegoat politics is a clear sign there is no positive, problem-solving agenda associated with the candidate or party. It is a simple means of distraction and diversion. Propagation of blame, fear, hate, and misinformation. Casting blame is an insidious, malicious, and effective way to avoid confronting today’s real systemic problems. Politicians, leaders, candidates, and people in general who practice it aren’t worthy of our support. They are either afraid to confront critical issues or don’t have any idea how to address them, without risking the rath of their cult like followers. Simply, they follow the practice of:  if you can’t solve it find someone to blame and be relentless in the accusations.

Scapegoating isn’t new. It’s been hyper-weaponized courtesy of the many mass media venues. Hitler had the Jews. He had no idea how to solve Germany’s hyperinflation and the crumbling living standards. But he had the Jews to blame for all of it. Syria’s Assad and Turkey’s Erdogan both have the Kurds, poor Kurds, to blame all their domestic calamities upon. They have suffered brutal consequences as a result.

Domestically, we are no different and our critical issues receive scant lip service. The Conservatives deride wokeness, China, and liberal ‘fake news’. Progressives blame ills on police unions, the 1%ers, and corporate greed. Florida’s Governor vilifies the LGBTQ’s and immigrants. The past executive energized hate toward the immigrants, even though he himself is one generation away. And today, he is scapegoating the DOJ while narcissistically playing the victim while fleecing his flock. Whining about unsupported claims of the past to shield to deflect against his own actions, indictments, and convictions.

You cannot solve problems by blaming others. It demonstrates a leadership devoid of forward thought, problem-solving, and critical thinking. We need to identify and address the real problems. We should seriously confront and address systematic, institutionalized, racism. Where’s the action toward eliminating mass shooting and gun violence? All the ‘thoughts and prayers’, shallowly offered, are falling on deaf and dead ears. Addiction and death related to illicit fentanyl and prescription opioids is killing us. Where is the hard look at why so many of our neighbors are addicted and abusing drugs? Rather than focus on the problem, it is easier to blame and demonize southern immigrants. Forget the fact most of them are escaping violence and terror and only a scant few are smugglers.

The scapegoat du jour is the LGBTQ community. Attacking a group because they aren’t like you and you don’t understand them. Blaming and viciously attacking them on embellished accusations of child grooming and abuse. If legislators really want to address this issue, they could start by focusing on the authoritarian leadership of the Catholic and Southern Baptists. These have a long well documented history of child molestation and abuse. This would require extreme courage and risk of losing political power. So, don’t expect anything but more Gay Bashing and book banning. It’s so much easier and politically safe.

Political failure and shallow policy making can be measured by increasing authoritarianism, and scapegoating. Used to mobilize the uninformed and easily manipulated. Stop blaming and start addressing critical issues. Take responsibility, be accountable, and confront serious issues sans scapegoating. Those political figures who won’t stop blaming others and using them as diversions don’t deserve our support; none of them.