Posted in Philosophy

Leadership Lessons From Parenting

There are so many lessons you can learn from Parenting. So many can and should be applied to Leadership.

Lesson: Be present, be calm, be patient, and listen to them;

Employees need you to be there for them. They need you to be present. They need you to be calm and patient and they desperately need you to listen to them. New and senior employees look toward you for support and guidance. They need you to be calm in the face of any calamity. To show limitless patience and support. Also, they have ideas and perspectives which need to be heard and considered. Don’t miss an opportunity to learn just because you are the boss.
Lesson: Let them stumble, fall, and fail; help them up and coach, don’t fix;

As painful as it might be, a good leader will let their staff stumble, fall and fail. The key will be to prove to them you will be there to help pick them up and coach them, guide them. Don’t yield to the extreme temptation of simply fix the problem. Show them they have the insight and capability of resolving the issue, even after a fall.
Lesson: Grow with them before you find yourself treating them as inferior;

Employees grow with every task and especially those they stumbled through. A leader must recognize this growth and maturity. Acknowledge this increasing capability with ever more challenging assignments. Holding them to the same level of tasks shows them you haven’t grown in an appreciation of their capabilities. They will continue to grow in spite of you. Or, they will meet your level of expectation and you both will fail; and it is your fault.

Lesson: No matter what, no matter when, no matter where—just support;

Commit yourself to publicly supporting them, no matter what, when, or where. They rely on your public support and your private constructive criticism. Show your public support, they will follow your lead and support you. Criticize publicly and expect the same in return, or worse behind your back.

Lesson: Don’t play favorites;

Every employee is unique and special. Each has amazing talents as well as faults. Don’t play favorites. Find within each how they best can aid the organization and praise the hell out of what they do. Help each with their unique weakness while they exercise their strengths. Everyone has a key role. Yours is to not play favorites as this will undoubtably be divisive and failure is eminent.
Lesson: There is a forest amidst the trees, sometimes you don’t need to sweat the small stuff;

It is so easy for an employee to focus on the minutia. Help them understand there is a bigger picture. The small parts, while important, must be addressed with the larger objective in view. They are solving a critical part of the whole, but they must know what the whole really is. It’s not their fault if their creative solution is counter to the global objective. There are many solutions to all problems. Let them in on the secret and let them devise solutions to support it.
Lesson: Leadership just as Parenting is something you GET to do every day, not HAVE to do

It’s a privilege to be a leader. If you don’t think so, you shouldn’t be one. You GET to help guide and grow people to be better than they were. You GET to learn from a wide diverse group and then impart knowledge to others. Leadership is an opportunity to grow their future which you GET to champion. None of these you HAVE to do; but, if you feel they are mandatory obligations you shouldn’t be a leader.


Remember, YOU are their example; no pressure……

Posted in Philosophy

Critical Thinking: Let’s Rethink This

There’s been quite the ferment about Critical Thinking in the last several years. Unfortunately, it is being misrepresented and becoming a lost skill. Critical Thinking is Deep Thinking. It doesn’t come easy, especially in this world of instant gratification and distractions. It is quite often emotionally painful. Critical Thinking forces you to challenge some (all) core beliefs. You may find them to be deceptions or myths. It can push you past the survival thinking mindset we tend to find ourselves entrapped. It will certainly break through the status quo mindset which plagues us.

Embrace curiosity and become a lifelong learner. Don’t be satisfied with what you hear or see on the internet or TV. Force yourself to ask a simple question: ‘Does that really make sense?’. Start thinking, questioning, probing, and researching. Find out for yourself.

Become an active listener rather than an active talker. Listen to other viewpoints. Resist formulating your defense while those viewpoints are being presented. Have patience. Absorb their meaning and implications. Then, reflect on how your experiences support or reject them. When you express yourself, be reflective on what you’ve heard and be respectful.

Take your time in decision making and systematically solve problems. Dissect complex problems to solve them. Try to see the forest and the trees at the same time. The more difficult and complex the problem the more you need a diverse group to solve it. Reach out to others not in your comfort circle for their opinion, theirs might just be the key to resolution. And then, learn to pause before acting. Reflection beforehand can be invaluable.

Deep critical thinking requires a lot of self-reflection. It requires a willingness to accept your ideas, concepts, and beliefs might be wrong. As such, practice a little self-compassion too. Don’t be self-critical but be self-aware and willing to change, if change is needed. The first step is being willing to ask.

Critical thinking has been demonized because it has made a lot of people uncomfortable. The questions have probed long-held beliefs and institutional practices. That’s what you do when you practice Critical Deep Thinking. Relax and enjoy the mental and emotional challenges ahead. Your life will be better for the effort.

[I’m slowly migrating to Medium. You can find me at medium@simplebender.com. Please following me there and please tell your friends….I appreciate your reading and occational comments…….Stay well, be safe]