Thank you, Mr. President, over the last two years of your unique, unconventional, administration there are many things to thank you for.
Only you, and you alone, could have propelled the interest in political activism as is now being shown by millennials, extremists, and minorities. It is truly amazing. This country hasn’t ever seen this level of extreme activism and division. You’ve made political awareness something everyone wants to be a part of and mix it up; say anything, do anything, just as long as their side wins. Thanks to your superior leadership and focus on our future, you ensured the 2018 Blue Tsunami yielded a balanced government with all the trappings of conflict and investigations. No one really wanted the same old boring single party-controlled Congress, did they? Knowing we all like a good witch hunt, to fan the flames of mistrust, we can now look forward to more misinformation and political spin. Thank you for Making Congress Balanced Again.
You’ve been able to clearly define the differences between us as citizens of this country as no one ever has before; thank you. It’s always good to drive wedges and build walls between families and neighbors. To feed fears with anger, scapegoats, and name calling. Unify the tribes and let the strongest, loudest, most bombastic one win. Who needs healing, compassion, and unification that’s for the meek and the clergy.
Thank you, Mr. President, for clarifying the inscription on the Statue of Liberty; “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore, send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door”. Just like in a contract there’s always fine print. You’ve made clear the fine print; this message only applies to European Judeo-Christian and not to Latin Americans or Muslims. It would be unfortunate for the great American experiment of a representative republic and melting pot of cultures to be inappropriately and disproportionately contaminated with those who aren’t like us.
Thank you, Mr. President, for showing what good business, national and personal, it is to have close and cozy relations with Russia. For showing how, after all these years, it’s really the war-mongering, wolves in sheep’s clothing socialistic liberals who are warier of our former foe than the peace and love, capital at any cost, right wing conservatives. Without your guidance this reversal of historic paradigm would have continued to the detriment of national security and individual wealth. Such misunderstood wisdom; keeping your friends close and your enemies closer. NATO and our former European allies should take note and trust Putin and love of Kim as you do.
And finally, thank you, Mr. President, for demonstrating once and for all that words don’t matter. As your counsel so clearly articulated, “truth isn’t truth”. You have unshackled us from the painful and laborious effort of needing to be honest, forthcoming, and succinct in our written and spoken words. We no longer must worry about those pesky facts, they just get in the way of a good crisis, and we never want to waste a good crisis. We no longer must consider whose checking their fact checkers, because facts don’t matter. You’ve liberated us from having to tell the truth about lies, lying about the truth, and lying about a lie, because if truth isn’t truth then lies aren’t lies. Thank you for simplifying our lives, we no longer must decipher objective from subjective truth, or hard versus soft truth. There is no inconvenient truth; it’s all a little white lie, or a little black truth
So many things to say thank you for Mr. President, please keep up the name calling and the tweets, even though they’re becoming boring, they make me feel like a kid again watching the playground.
simplebender 